workplace wisdom/ random mutterings
Day -3: With only one day left in the office, a work colleague has presented to me a compilation of my random office mutterings which apparently pass for tips about how to survive in the corporate world. I’ve reproduced it here:
- Where possible, write your own epilogues.
- In order to make friends in the office, offer them food.
- Even if you have no idea what you are talking about, make it sound like you do.
- You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em.
- It is always good to have a reason.
- Acknowledge the hierarchy.
- Remember the importance of upward communication.
- Take things seriously. When you have a choice of either being serious or not serious, always take serious.
- When you pay peanuts you get monkeys.
- Attention to detail is paramount. (You work with a pedant.)
- When sitting in a meeting as a newcomer, it is better to say nothing and have them wonder if you’re stupid than to say something and confirm their suspicion.
I’m actually not sure that the last one was mine, however I’m happy to endorse the sentiment.
I’m getting a bit misty-eyed about leaving now. I hope I don’t regret the decision as I’m lying on the beach in Santorini?
Posted: June 21st, 2007 by andrew under office.
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Comment from jLo
Time: 21 June 2007, 6:49 pm
#3 is a favourite of mine: fake it until you make it. And hooray for pedantry! I think I’ve come down on the wrong side of the serious/not serious choice on more than one occasion, so I’m going to try to remember that one.
Comment from andrew
Time: 21 June 2007, 9:01 pm
jLo. Come on! A woman of your talents doesn’t have to play by the rules. For me, it’s number 1 that has taken top priority. I am currently labouring over a succinct but thorough “README” document which sums up the world for my successor.
Comment from Neil
Time: 21 June 2007, 9:56 pm
Great corporate advice. I would suggest that you look for other pearls of wisdom while you are away. Can you imagine what insights you might get from the little Egyptian handing out tickets to Cheops? What he would not know about managing the pyramid hierarchy would not be worth a piece of papyrus.
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